wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
The uberlube is also flammable
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
