shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize