Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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