You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
