absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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