I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
