Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
