Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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