A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
