Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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