i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
