Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
