just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
someone owes me an orgasm
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
