i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Reggie can tackle my bush.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
