no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
