That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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