How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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