I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
