Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
