And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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