she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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