I'm really into asian looking animals
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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