Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
