Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
