Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
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