when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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