I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Sorry about my life...
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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