Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
accomplished twins. life is a go
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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