Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
