he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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