i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
Randomize
