yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
