Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize