It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
