he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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