why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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