don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
