the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize