I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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