Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
