She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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