I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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