So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize