I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
