PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
