Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
