quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
