One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize