K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Randomize
