this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
