Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
