So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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