I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
