the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
