Im at strip club and am horny
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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