I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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