Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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