Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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