I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize