You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
a search helicopter?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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