just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
