i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
