I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
