The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
