No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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