You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
