She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
