Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
