AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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