it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
