i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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