So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
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