you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize