spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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