i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
