I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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